Too many times we get involved in a relationship for the wrong reason. Maybe you think you have to be in a relationship to be a complete person. Maybe you are in a relationship just for sex or companionship. The ideal relationship isn’t based on any of these things–the only good reason to get in a relationship is because you have fun with the other person.
Say what you want about highbrow concepts of love and togetherness, the truth is that we all just want to have a good time. If you don’t have fun with someone, why would you want to spend every waking moment with them? The truth is, you don’t. Here’s how to have a successful (meaning a FUN) relationship.
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Make Yourself Happy
Forget struggling to make your partner happy, the only way to have a fun relationship or to keep your head above water in a marriage is to be happy and do things to make yourself happy. If both partners make sure to make themselves happy, there’s no room for sadness or discord.
It may sound selfish at first, but making sure you are happy before you worry about your partner is actually a sign of respect. It says to your partner: “I know what works best for me and I don’t expect you to figure it out.”
Fun Relationship Question:
- So how do you make yourself happy?
If you don’t know who you really are, you’ll never know what really makes you happy. There’s an old piece of advice that recommends that you imagine what you would do if you won the lottery, then go ahead and do that thing anyway. The idea is that whatever you named as your “lottery dream” is actually the thing that makes you happiest, so go ahead and do it.
Figure out your dreams, your goals, and go after them. Your partner will appreciate you for doing what you love (and taking the burden off them) and you will be happier in the long run.
- Spend Time Apart
Most couples get this part wrong. Spending time apart doesn’t mean going away on long weekends or sleeping in different bedrooms. Spending time apart can be anything, from thirty minutes at the gym to an early dinner with friends while your partner stays home. These little adventures keep your partnership fresh, and give you stories to tell later with your sweetheart.
No matter how much your partner loves you or loves to spend time with you, they will get sick of your face, your stories, and your presence. Spending time apart is as much about keeping your partner happy as it is about keeping yourself happy.
The hardest part about spending some time apart is breaking the ice for the first time. How do you tell your partner that you want to spend time apart without sounding like a jerk? You know your lover best–you have to approach the subject gently but with authority, making sure the other person in your relationship understands how important this is for the both of you. If you need some place to stay, try hotels.com with our discounts.
- Spend “Good Time” Together
I know, I know. I just got finished telling you that spending time apart is the key to happiness in a relationship. But spending so called “quality time” together is just as important.
I hate to use the word “quality time”, so I like to think of it as “good time”. That means time when you’re both in a good mood doing something that you love. “Good time” might be watching a new movie that you both want to see, or making a fire in the fireplace and talking long into the night. Spending “good time” together doesn’t include things like doing homework, working on your taxes, or doing something that only one of you really enjoys.
Spending “good time” together strengthens your relationship by creating happy memories and putting the two of you in touch when you’re in your best mood. Discord and unhappiness breeds more unhappiness, so avoid spending time together when either of you is in a bad mood.